When I speak at women’s conferences throughout the year I’m often asked about intimacy with God; what it consists of, how to attain it, and how to retain it. To understand how intimacy is formed, let’s first look at Webster’s definition of the word: ‘a close, familiar, affectionate and loving personal relationship with another person.’
To have an intimate relationship with anyone, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of the popular dating site, E-Harmony, states you need three things:
1. Knowledge of one’s own inner life,
2. A strong desire to know the other person, and
3. The existence of shared emotions and experiences.
Knowledge of one’s own inner life can be attained by doing a daily spiritual inventory and being honest about your strengths and weaknesses. You need to have the ability to be authentic because any time you are anything but yourself, you are a hypocrite, which in the Greek means, ‘to act’. If you go before the Lord and are not the real you, you’re doing so in vain. Equally so, when you spend time asking for things and not taking the necessary time to listen, confess and repent from your sins, or give thanksgiving, then you’re only sharing a portion of who you are with God.
The Bible says that God is a rewarder to those who diligently seek Him. We are told that because once you push through the basics of prayer and really seek God there’s something miraculous that occurs; a closeness and peace that surpasses all understanding. You can’t find that intimacy and serenity anywhere else in the world but in His presence.
During some of the most difficult times in my life when I’ve had to cling to God are times I’ve grown the closest to Him. They were times that the world (or my flesh) had failed me in some way and I had nowhere else to turn and cling, but to Him. Mother Theresa once said, “Jesus is not all you need until He’s all you have.” When Jesus is all you have are times we should long for, because the truth is, most of us wouldn’t pursue that level of intimacy with God without those difficulties.
Research shows that intimacy is most likely to occur in a relationship when:
1. Plenty of time is available,
2. You are away from routine,
3. In times of crisis and pain, and
4. When you are regularly involved in reflection and introspection.
The Hebrew word for intimacy is paga. It means, ‘to meet’. In order for you to attain a closeness that we all desire with God we must meet with Him and take the time to know Him and His character. Aside from prayer, there are other ways we can get to know God:
1. Past experiences with Him,
2. His Word,
3. The testimony of others,
4. The Holy Spirit (revelation), and
5. History of Saints of old (He’s the same yesterday, today and forever…).
Overall, to do any of the above, we must take the time to spend with God. I’ve heard many people say that they don’t have time to spend with God, but the truth is that we make time for things that are important to us. We are important to God and He desires ‘to meet’ and have intimacy with us. Seek Him now and ask Him to direct you and your prayers so that you can have a closer relationship with Him – there is no greater treasure.
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