I had everything I needed to complete the job successfully. I had gone to the store early that morning and purchased two boxes of the strongest over-the-counter sleeping pills I could find – forty-eight extra strength to be exact. I had gone to bed the night before believing full well that the next day would be the last day I’d spend on earth. I had thought heavily about what I would say in the note I would leave for my mother and my two children – Charlene, who was three at the time, and Paul, who was two. When I awoke the next morning, I sat on the edge of my bed and wept as I put what I’d rehearsed in my heart the night before on paper. Later I filled the largest glass I could find to the rim with liquid to wash the pills down. I was an unbeliever, and I had no hope.
That was almost twenty-five years ago and by the grace of God I obviously didn’t die. I was only twenty years old and had put my hope in a variety of people and things; all of which gravely let me down. In reminding believers about their lives as unbelievers, Ephesians 2:12 says, “…remember that you were at that time separate from Christ…having no hope and without God in the world.”
Apart from God, we put our hope in a variety of things; possessions, people, success, and more. But the Bible says these things will cause our hope to perish, will make us ashamed, and be extinguished in death (Isa 20:5-6; Job 8:13; Job 27:8). I was experiencing all of those things as I lay on my bed waiting for death to consume me.
The modern idea of hope is “to wish for, to expect, but without certainty of the fulfillment; to desire very much, but will no real assurance of getting your desire.” In Scripture, however, the Hebrew and Greek translations of the word “hope” is very contrary. It means, “a strong and confident expectation.” Thus, hope is akin to trust and confident expectation. That definition refers to the actual activity of hoping and is neither static or passive. On the contrary, it is dynamic, active, directive and life sustaining. Like faith, it demands action. You must actually hope to be hopeful.
By its very nature, hope stresses two things; futurity and invisibility. It deals with things we can’t see or haven’t received, or both. Romans 8:24-25 says, “For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one also hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.”
Biblically, hope is synonymous with salvation and its many blessings; past, present, and future, as promised in Scripture. It is described as confident expectation, the sure certainty that what has been promised in the Word is true, has occurred, and or will in accordance with God’s sure Word. And did you know there are over 40,000 promises in God’s Word?
In the weeks before I started my fast I made a list of seven things I hoped and longed for the Lord to give me clarity on during these forty days. To date, I’ve seen God move in most of those areas to some extent, even though I haven’t received the answers I necessarily wanted on each issue. This could really get me down if I allow it to. I’ve had to remind myself not to put more hope in “the right answer” than I put in the Lord. The Bible clearly tells us that our hope needs to be appropriately placed.
Psalm 42:11 is a good verse for helping me prioritize my hope. It says, “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why are thou disquieted within me? Hope though in God: for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.” Psalm 31:34 says, “Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.”
In closing, allow me to encourage you to look at your own hope and desires and see if they are acutely in line with God’s Word. It’s easy to get side tracked. If, like me, you’ve struggled in this area, go to the Lord in prayer and do what you need to place your hope in Christ Jesus instead of the world.
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